


those unexpected worries come at inconvenient times

by Notabeautifullittlefool



Category: Legends of Tomorrow
Genre: F/F, Fluff, near panic attack, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notabeautifullittlefool/pseuds/Notabeautifullittlefool
Summary: Ava let out a slow breath and started absentmindedly playing with Sara’s fingers where they rested on her chest.“It’s silly.”“Maybe, but it had you that worked up so it’s obviously something that means a lot to you.”“You can’t laugh,” Ava whispered pleadingly as her eyes searched Sara’s face.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 18
Kudos: 186





	those unexpected worries come at inconvenient times

Ava moved about her and Sara’s quarters putting things away as she got ready for bed. She had changed already, but went through her nightly routine of checking to make sure everything was in its place and tidying away anything that wasn’t. Turning around, she caught Sara’s eye as Sara sat in the bed, taking Ava in. 

“What? Do I have something…?” Ava’s voice trailed off as she began to quickly check herself over for anything embarrassing or out of place. 

“Nope,” Sara replied, popping the “p” and grinning.  Ava gave her a look in return, one that not so subtly implied she didn’t quite believe Sara, and crawled into bed with her. 

“Mmhmm. So then why were you staring at me, just couldn’t resist my full length flannel pajamas?”

Sara rolled her eyes and laughed, pulling Ava into her side. “You stereotype,” she murmured, placing a soft kiss on Ava’s cheek. The two of them sat together in the quiet for a moment, enjoying each others’ closeness. They laid back slightly against the pillows, Ava against Sara’s shoulder. Sara’s arm had wrapped around Ava’s waist to pull her against her and never moved as Ava interlocked their fingers together over her stomach. “I wasn’t  _ staring at you _ exactly....I looked up at you, and I started thinking and never looked away, I guess.”

Ava’s finger rubbed softly along the back of Sara’s hand as she chuckled lowly. “Babe, I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of staring, according to most people. What had you thinking so hard? More legends mishaps? Mmmm don’t tell me, Ray finally broke down and told you about the other day when he and Nate accidentally made some sort of chemical weapon gas in the lab because Nate drank Lyoga root again and kept adding in chemicals when Ray wasn’t paying attention?” 

Sara chuckled lowly. “No, nothing legends rela-wait they did what?! On MY ship?!” 

Ava moved her arm to lay across Sara’s waist, thumb gently stroking back and forth above her hip as she kept her from getting up. “They’re fine. Gideon removed the gas and ventilated the room, plus she had Ray and Nate go to the medbay for a few hours to monitor them. I may have given them a very long and passionate talking to about it while they were a captive audience…” she trailed off.

“Good. They deserved that. That doesn’t mean i’m not going to kick both their asses tomorrow though,” Sara muttered as Ava laughed against her, pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder. 

A comfortable silence surrounded them for a few minutes. Ava knew Sara would share when she wanted, so she was content to rest in her love’s arms for a few moments and enjoy the soft, peaceful opportunity they so seldom found. 

“You didn’t want to read your book? I thought you were trying to finish that today,” Sara said quietly, running her fingers lightly back and forth across Ava’s arom over her waist. 

She felt Ava smile against her shoulder. “Mmm no, I finished that while I waited for my turn in the shower after our sparring session. It was a great book- Gideon could probably make it for you on audiobook if you wanted to try it, you know?” 

“I’ll keep it in mind next time I’m in the mood for a new book,” Sara replied. Ava snuggled further into Sara’s embrace as she pulled the covers up around them. 

  
  
  
  
  


Ava’s breathing began to even out as she fully relaxed against Sara’s side. Sara whispered against the top of Ava’s head. “Aves, are you asleep?”

“Mmph whaa- no, ‘m awake, just resting my eyes,” she replied groggily, eyes still closed. 

Sara took a deep breath. “I was thinking about you. About us, really. Earlier, when you said I was staring.” She paused, waiting for Ava to acknowledge what she said, to let her know she wasn’t just talking to herself in the dark. 

The sheets rustled as Ava moved to prop herself up on her elbow, the hand that was curled around Sara’s hip coming to rest at the base of her neck as she put the slightest pressure there, waiting for Sara to continue. 

Sara let out a soft sigh of relief as she wrapped her hand around Ava’s wrist at her chest. A feeling of comfort, of safety, of  _ home _ flowed from the spot Ava’s hand covered through the rest of her body. “I just looked at you, and… it just hit me. How much I love this- coming home to you. Getting ready together, waking up to you. When we first talked about me moving into your apartment, Aves, it scared the hell out of me. Not that I didn’t want it-” she quickly clarified, “-but  _ how much  _ I wanted it. And I think I was looking for a reason not to, because I was -I  _ am _ \- so terrified of losing you, of you realizing one day that I’m not worth all of this. But, you moving in here, with me? I was wrong, Aves. I was so wrong. 

It feels…” Sara struggled for a moment trying to come up with the word that could express the depth of the emotion she was trying to convey. “It just feels right. Like we were always meant to end up here, together. I like being a partially-kept woman with you,” she sighed. She turned to look at Ava, unable to keep the soft smile off her face, and was surprised to see Ava’s watery smile looking back at her. 

Ava moved her hand from the base of Sara’s neck up to her face and cupped her cheek, her thumb tracing lightly back and forth, as she turned Sara’s face just slightly. Slowly, she leaned down to meet Sara’s lips in a soft kiss, trying to express what she couldn’t quite say with all her emotions caught in her throat. She lingered slightly longer against Sara’s lips than the chaste kiss required, but the taste and feel of Sara’s lips against her own always pushed the boundaries of her self control. Pulling away, Ava resettled herself against Sara’s shoulder, laying a few light kisses against Sara’s jaw and neck as she whispered in response “I like being a partially-kept woman with you, too, my love.” Their breathing evened out and deepend quickly as they fell asleep, smiles tugging the ends of their lips up, wrapped up in each others’ arms. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“NO oh my god, no, no!” Ava sat straight up in bed, heart racing, unable to catch her breath. She tried a few of the breathing exercises her therapist at the Bureau had taught her to use when she felt a panic attack coming on and after a few moments, she felt her breathing slowly coming back under control. 

Having heard Ava wake up, Sara was up in an instant. She grabbed for the knife hidden at the back of her bedside table and was immediately scanning the room. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Ava are you hurt?” 

Ava flinched when she heard Sara’s voice. This was the most ridiculous trigger for a panic attack she’d ever had- she didn’t want Sara to know about it or see her like this. With a deep, shuddering breath, Ava wiped her face and turned to look at Sara with what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face. 

From the concern still evident on Sara’s face, Ava gathered it wasn’t as convincing as she hoped. “I’m fine, babe. I didn’t mean to wake you, just a bad dream. Go back to sleep, okay?” Ava looked at Sara, who immediately moved her hand behind her back. 

“I thought we agreed no more knives where we sleep?”

Sara shrugged, slightly embarrassed at being caught, and stowed the knife back in its hiding spot. “Technically it wasn’t where we sleep. It was just adjacent to it, behind the bedside table.”

Ava rolled her eyes good naturedly and laid back down. She tried to continue her breathing exercises as quietly as she could so Sara wouldn’t notice. 

Sara laid down next to Ava, placing her hand at the base of Ava’s neck the way Ava always did for her. She listened to Ava’s breathing in the quiet of their room and waited until it calmed down to a more normal rate. Speaking softly, Sara kept her eyes trained on Ava’s face. “It wasn’t just a bad dream, was it, Aves?”

Ava winced. 

“I know the start of a panic attack when I see it. What had you so upset, baby?”

Ava let out a slow breath and started absentmindedly playing with Sara’s fingers where they rested on her chest. 

“It’s silly.”

“Maybe, but it had you that worked up so it’s obviously something that means a lot to you.”

“You can’t laugh,” Ava whispered pleadingly as her eyes searched Sara’s face. 

Sara leaned up and pressed a light kiss on Ava’s forehead. “I would never laugh at something that upset you enough to cause a panic attack,” she whispered. 

  
  


Nodding to herself, Ava took a deep breath. “It was about my GoodReads account.” She paused, unwilling to look Sara in the eyes. “It suddenly hit me that most of what’s on there is a lie because it has books and reading dates going all the way back to highschool when I star- when  _ they _ started it. And I don’t know which ones are just fake, which ones are from the other 11 AVAs, and which ones are actually from  _ me. _

And i realized that I’m lying to everyone because they think I’ve read all these books- I claim to have read them. But I haven’t! Oh my god I don’t think I’ve ever actually completed a reading challenge, it’s all a lie, Sara!” Ava was sitting up at this point, her hands in her hair as she grew more and more stressed. 

  
  


Sara had been tempted to laugh when Ava began explaining. Really tempted. Not because she thought it was silly like Ava feared, but because she was overcome with how adorable her girlfriend was, worrying that she’s actually been lying on her GoodReads account. No one else would have that fear, Sara could almost guarantee. 

But at seeing Ava’s worried, panicked look when she finished talking, Sara’s urge to laugh vanished. She could tell Ava was getting worked up again with the new realization, and she desperately wanted to keep it from turning into another near panic attack. 

Sara sat up and moved so she was straddling Ava, removing Avas fingers from her hair and replacing them with her own, Her fingers moved in slow strokes through Avas long hair, concentrating on the scalp as she watched Ava shiver under her at the motion. 

“Sar-Sara? What..?” Ava’s eyes were wide open as she stared at Sara above her. Her breathing was still rapid as she tried to keep herself from succumbing to the panic over her new realization. 

“It’s not silly. It’s such a uniquely you worry, babe, and I think it’s adorable that you’re worried about having not been honest about the books you read through no fault of your own. It’s just proof of what an amazing woman I fell in love with that you care so deeply. Now,” Sara leaned down closer to Ava, giving her the lightest kisses along her jaw and neck. “you’re still too stressed and close to having another near attack, don’t you think?” 

Ava could only nod in response. 

“I think we need to relax you a little so you can go back to sleep again.” As soon as she finished talking, Sara kissed Ava deeply, sucking lightly on her bottom lip before biting it gently. Ava gasped, and Sara took the opportunity to deepen the kiss for a moment before pulling back and placing soft, chaste kisses across her cheeks and jaw. 

Ava’s hands had moved to Sara’s waist, holding Sara close while bunching and unbunching her shirt in her fists. As Sara moved back to Ava’s lips, she whispered soft words of praise and reassurance against her skin, smiling as she felt Ava slowly relax underneath her. 

Satisfied her girlfriend was no longer close to another anxiety attack, Sara leaned back with a final kiss to Ava’s forehead, smirking at the way the attention had left Ava flushed and slightly shy. Ava was leaning back against the pillows on the headboard, unable to fully look Sara in the eyes. 

Running her thumb along Ava’s cheekbone, Sara asked teasingly, “Why so shy, baby? That’s hardly the most scandalous thing I’ve done to you in our bed.” 

Ava’s head jerked up in surprise. “Sara!” Her cheeks were bright red and Sara stopped Ava’s hands, holding them in her own before they could cover her face. 

Sara loved that even after two years of dating she could still get Ava so flustered. “I’m only teasing you, babe. It  _ is _ true though,” she added, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Ava groaned and rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible, you know that? Taking such a sweet gesture like that and making it dirty when you know very well the reason I was embarrassed after you did all that.” Ava started with a stern face, but the second she looked at Sara again she gave into the smile fighting its way back onto her lips. 

“Yeah, but you love me anyway,” Sara remarked happily, moving off of Ava. “Now scooch back down, I want to go back to sleep.” Ava happily complied, laying back down in their bed and turning off the light. Sara immediately attached to Ava’s side and buried her face in Ava’s neck, wrapping her arm and leg across Ava like a koala. 

Ava pulled her close. “Yeah, Sara, I do,” she whispered against the top of her hair. The panic and anxiety of earlier was far away, replaced now by a feeling of warmth and contentment in her chest. A feeling of safety, of home. Of Sara. 

  
  


After a moment, Sara mumbled against Ava, her voice already sounded like she was half asleep.. “In the morning we can talk about your GoodReads thing. I have ideas.” 

“Okay, babe. But in the morning though.”

“They’re really good ones, Aves. I have the best ideas,” Sara sighed as she nested her head comfortably against Ava and her breathing evened out. 

Ava smiled, Sara’s weight real and solid against her, a constant reminder of how real she was and how real their feelings for each other were as well. And knowing that? Well, Ava thought, knowing that, she could face anything else their lives might throw at them and be just fine. 

**Author's Note:**

> twitter is @chanandaler94 as always. come yell with me about avalance
> 
> This popped into my head at around 3am a week ago (thanks insomnia!) because I had just updated my GoodReads and just thought....Ava would have an absolute attack if she had an account that had been put together and managed by the Bureau before she had it and realized it was mostly a lie. So this was supposed to be a lot less sappy and soft and a lot more funny and ridiculous, but I apparently don’t get to control that sort of thing, it just happens.


End file.
